Sex and The Virus: The Challenges Of COVID – 19


It has been rumored that a sub – task force of the primary COVID – 19 Task Force has been working on a set of guidelines to address the issue of sexual behavior in the age of the Corona Virus. Some preliminary information has leaked out (no pun intended) and we thought it appropriate and responsible, to share what has made its way into the public domain.

The most critical and essential information involves the nose. Almost all public health professionals, including the vast majority of epidemiologists, agree that the human nose is the key portal to contracting airborne viruses. Consequently, all recommended masks are designed to fully cover the nostrils, the chief culprit in becoming a virus victim. The mouth can also pose a problem, but no research indicates that the danger equals that posed by the nose. All of this points to an inescapable conclusion – whatever sexual activity is engaged in, it is absolutely imperative that the proximity of noses be as great as possible, and by no means, in contact with each other.

There is some specificity to the information that has been leaked so far (sorry, again). When engaging in traditional sexual intercourse, it is imperative that the heads of the participants be pointed in opposite directions. This would rule out kissing, but face masks make this impossible, anyway. If kissing is an essential part of your sexual activity, it is imperative that the nostrils be completely closed. At this close proximity, a face mask is not sufficient protection. No specific prophylaxis is recommended, but some form of nasal closure, perhaps similar to that used by competitive swimmers, is called for.

Non-traditional sexual activity is not specifically addressed in the available information, so individual creativity can come (sorry) into play. Small slits in strategic areas of the face mask may offer an acceptable level of protection, or for the more adventurous, gargling with one of the commonly used hand sanitizers, would do the trick (sorry).

If self-stimulation is one’s sexual activity of choice, you’re in luck. Given all available research and scientific studies, it is impossible to give yourself the COVID – 19 virus.

Hopefully, this information will provide a modicum of value and security in enjoying an aspect of our lives that provides intimacy and true meaning. We will keep you posted as more information becomes available.

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